


Breakdown

by MelindaCoulson4



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5x12, Crying, F/M, Family Feels, Heartbreak, Sad, philindaisy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14408079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelindaCoulson4/pseuds/MelindaCoulson4
Summary: Something that could’ve happen between the time Coulson passed out to Simmons breaking the news to the team. 5x12. Philindaisy. [previously posted on tumblr]





	Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> Philindaisy fam breaks my heart

_“It wasn’t a heart attack.”_

_“There’s something there. I’ll know more once the results come back. You should rest for now.”_

“Daisy.”

“Daisy, please…”

She can’t even look at him. But, he’s looking at her all right. He hasn’t stopped since regaining consciousness. All he does is focus on her, watching her reactions to all of this new information.

And now, what? He wants to try to talk about it?

_Hell no._

The bones in her chest feel like they’re slowly ripping apart, inch by agonizing inch. Each time he says her name he forces more space there and pretty soon she’ll collapse just like he did.

_She can’t breathe._

Her mind keeps replaying the way he’d stared at Simmons as she questioned him once he woke up in the med bay. The emptiness in his gaze. He wasn’t surprised by this at all. Just a nod. That’s all he responded with when Simmons told him he didn’t have a heart attack.

There was a second where he’d glanced at May, then he’d looked down at the exam table, clearly guilty.

Then he admitted there was something wrong.

After that, Daisy couldn’t even stand to be in the room with him.

Because now Coulson, the man she trusted above everyone else- the man she loved like a father, was a liar. Just like so many people before him.

He had kept this thing from all of them.

She’s going to explode. It’s too much all at once.

She has to get out.

The door thumps against the wall as she exits the room, leaving him behind still calling out her name.

 _Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._  She repeats it like a mantra over and over in her mind.  _Stay calm._

She’s grateful that her powers are inhibited because she’s never felt less in control over herself than right now.

The shaking reverberates through her limbs and through her fingers. This time not from her powers but from the adrenaline still making it’s way out of her system. The adrenaline that had spiked and flooded her entire body the moment she watched Coulson’s unconscious body hit the floor. The first thought that crossed her mind: he was dead. The second thought: she had caused it because of their argument.

Now she knows it wasn’t her at all. It was something inside of Coulson. Something was very wrong with him and he’d been keeping it a secret.

Her feet have carried her towards the bathroom. The room that had rows of stalls in preparation for this whole bunker to be filled with people taking refuge.

She’s never been to the one on this floor, but it’ll most likely have the same eerie feeling just as all the others do. The emptiness in such a large space. The echos of only one person moving around. It made her paranoid. She’d always be on high alert, occasionally whipping her head around just to make sure no one else was there trying to sneak up on her.

It’s just around the corner now. The first thing she’ll do is splash ice cold water on her face from the sink. Needing the shock to bring her back, to snap her out of the swirling of emotions before she’s taken under and unable to pull herself out of it.

A sudden cry makes her foot freeze in place.

The sharp inhales of breath. The echoing sobs.

The telltale signs that someone is crying just outside the bathroom in the hallway.

Daisy braces herself against the wall and peaks around the corner.

The image that she sees breaks her heart into pieces.

It’s May. She’s sitting on the floor, knees tucked tightly to her chest, with both of her hands covering her face. The cries are somewhat muffled by May’s palms but they break through and seem to be deafening in this moment.

The sounds coming from May’s mouth travel down the hallway and crush Daisy’s heart like a vice.

May’s hair blankets her face as she buries it in the space between her chest and knees. Daisy has never seen May appear this small or vulnerable. Daisy’s stomach clenches over and over in response to May’s whimpers.

The cries don’t subside. They seem to grow louder with each passing moment.

Daisy knows that May must be devastated. She knows what May and Coulson mean to each other.

Not friends. Not partners. Something more than both of those things. Two people who know each other, know everything. Well, everything except for whatever is wrong with Coulson. They’re like soulmates who haven’t ever been given the chance to get the timing down right. Daisy fears now they never will.

Trust was an important part of their relationship. And Coulson omitted this thing that’s happening with him. He may have just tossed a deep wedge between them.

It isn’t fair to them. They should be able to be together. Haven’t they been through enough?

Another sharp cry echoes off the walls. Daisy turns to see May’s shoulders shaking as she tries holding back the cries but they continue to break through. All of her feelings are pouring out now. May is breaking down alone in an empty hallway.

The wetness behind Daisy’s eyelids increases and she feels the damp tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

May needs support right now. She needs love. But Coulson is the one who usually provides it.

She feels the instinct to go to May. To just silently turn the corner and sit down next to her. But Daisy can’t bring herself to do it. She’s frozen against the wall knowing that she’d be no real help to May.

May would be more concerned about Daisy than herself if she made her presence known. Daisy couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to May.

There is something comforting in knowing that you could break down completely without anyone interfering or judging you. Daisy’s done it hundreds of times and is sure May has too. They both appreciate solitude, especially May.

May needs this time to let loose without the fear of being judged or watched.

So, Daisy takes one more breath and pushes herself off of the wall, leaving May to process through everything by herself.

Thirty minutes later, when Daisy spots May enter the room that the team has gathered in, she tries not to stare at the mascara smears under May’s eyes or the haunted expression on her face.

Daisy can’t help but feel that this is the beginning of something horrifying. This is just a taste of what life would be like without Coulson.

 

_//end//_

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback always welcome :) Thank you for reading!


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